New Tips for Helping Kids Understand Divorce

Author

Mark Urton
March 09, 2023

One of the most important things you can do for your children during a divorce is to be honest and open with them about what’s happening. This means explaining to them in age-appropriate language why the divorce is happening and what it means for their family. Children have a way of sensing when something is wrong, so it’s better to be upfront with them rather than trying to hide what’s going on.

When explaining the divorce to your children, it’s important to avoid blaming or criticizing your spouse. Instead, focus on explaining the facts of the situation and how it will impact the family. Reassure your children that the divorce is not their fault and that both parents still love them.

Divorce can be a very emotional experience for children. They may feel confused, sad, angry, or even guilty about the divorce. It’s important to validate their feelings and let them know that it’s okay to feel the way they do. Encourage them to express their emotions in healthy ways, such as talking to a trusted adult or engaging in creative activities like drawing or writing.

It’s also important to be patient and understanding as your children process their emotions. Avoid dismissing their feelings or telling them to “get over it.” Instead, offer support and empathy as they navigate this difficult time.

Divorce can be disruptive to a child’s sense of stability and security. To help ease their anxiety, it’s important to create a stable and predictable environment for them. Stick to regular routines and schedules as much as possible, and maintain consistent rules and expectations. This will help your children feel more secure and in control during this uncertain time.

Communication is key during a divorce, both between the parents and with the children. Encourage open and honest communication with your children, and let them know that they can come to you with any questions or concerns they may have. It’s also important to maintain a positive and respectful relationship with your co-parent, as this will make it easier to communicate effectively with your children.

Divorce can be a challenging and stressful experience for everyone involved. If you feel that your child is struggling to cope with the divorce, or if you need support as a parent, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. This could include therapy for your child, family counseling, or individual counseling for yourself.

Conflict between parents can be damaging to children, especially during a divorce. It’s important to avoid arguing or fighting in front of your children, as this can create feelings of anxiety and insecurity. If you need to communicate with your co-parent, try to do so calmly and respectfully, away from the children.

Although the marriage may be ending, the co-parenting relationship will continue. It’s important to maintain a positive and cooperative relationship with your co-parent, as this will make it easier to co-parent effectively and provide a stable and supportive environment for your children.

This may involve compromising and working together to make decisions about your children’s care and upbringing. It may also involve prioritizing your children’s needs over your own feelings and desires.

When explaining divorce to your children, it’s important to take into account their age and developmental stage. Younger children may struggle to understand complex concepts, while older children may have more questions and concerns about the practical implications of the divorce. Tailoring your explanations to your children’s age and level of understanding can help them feel more secure and confident as they navigate this challenging time. Providing age-appropriate explanations can also help children feel more included in the process and empower them to ask questions and express their feelings.