How Men Can Divorce Proof Their Marriages

We see in this passage that there is strength in unity, and that a strong marriage is built on a foundation of mutual support, trust, and commitment. This means that we must be intentional about investing in our relationships, communicating effectively, and learning how to manage conflict in healthy ways.

As the apostle Paul wrote in Ephesians 4:2–3, “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” This means that we must approach our relationships with humility, gentleness, and patience, always striving to maintain the bond of peace that keeps us connected to our partner and to God.

Of course, we know that no marriage is perfect, and that forgiveness is a key component of any healthy relationship. As Jesus himself taught in Matthew 18:21–22, “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.’”

This doesn’t mean that we should excuse harmful behavior or ignore patterns of abuse or neglect. Rather, it means that we must be willing to extend grace and forgiveness to our partner when they make mistakes or hurt us unintentionally.

Ultimately, divorce-proofing our marriages is about building a strong foundation of faith, trust, and commitment that allows us to weather the storms of life and grow closer to our partner and to God. As Paul wrote in Colossians 3:12–14, “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

May we all strive to build marriages that are grounded in these virtues, and may God bless us with the wisdom, strength, and grace we need to navigate the challenges of life together.

Here are some of the most effective strategies that men can use to divorce-proof their marriages.

1. Communicate effectively

Communication is one of the most important components of a healthy marriage, and it’s crucial for men to develop strong communication skills if they want to divorce-proof their relationship. Effective communication involves not only expressing your own thoughts and feelings but also actively listening to your partner and responding with empathy and understanding.

To improve your communication skills, start by setting aside time each day to talk with your partner about your day, your goals, and your concerns. Be sure to listen carefully to what your partner has to say and ask questions to show that you’re interested and engaged. Avoid interrupting or dismissing your partner’s feelings, and try to respond with empathy and validation.

2. Invest in your relationship

Another important way to divorce-proof your marriage is to invest in your relationship on a regular basis. This means making time for fun and meaningful activities together, as well as taking steps to improve your intimacy and emotional connection.

One way to invest in your relationship is to schedule regular date nights or weekend getaways. These can be simple activities like going for a walk or trying a new restaurant, or more elaborate adventures like taking a trip together or trying a new hobby. Whatever you choose to do, make sure it’s something that you both enjoy and that allows you to connect on a deeper level.

Another way to invest in your relationship is to prioritize physical and emotional intimacy. This might mean setting aside time for sex, cuddling, or other forms of physical touch, as well as engaging in regular conversations about your feelings, hopes, and dreams. By investing in your emotional and physical connection, you can build a foundation of trust, respect, and mutual support that will help you weather the ups and downs of life.

3. Learn to manage conflict

Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, but it’s how you manage that conflict that can make all the difference in whether your marriage survives. To divorce-proof your marriage, it’s important to develop effective conflict resolution skills that allow you to work through disagreements and come to a resolution that satisfies both you and your partner.

One effective strategy for managing conflict is to use “I” statements rather than “you” statements. For example, instead of saying “You always do this” or “You make me feel this way,” try saying “I feel hurt when this happens” or “I need this from you.” By using “I” statements, you can express your feelings and needs without blaming or attacking your partner, which can help to defuse the situation and prevent it from escalating.

Another strategy for managing conflict is to take a time-out when things get heated. This means agreeing to take a break from the conversation and come back to it later, once everyone has had a chance to calm down and collect their thoughts. During this break, it’s important to engage in self-care activities like going for a walk, meditating, or doing something that makes you feel happy and relaxed.

4. Practice forgiveness

Forgiveness is an essential component of any healthy relationship, and it’s particularly important for men who want to divorce-proof their marriage. Holding onto resentment and anger can poison a relationship over time, so it’s important to learn how to let go of grudges and forgive your partner when they make mistakes.