A Few Things I Wish I Knew in My 20s

If I could go back and whisper a few truths to my younger self, it wouldn’t be flashy or dramatic. It would be practical, imperfectly framed, and almost boring in its consistency. The kind of wisdom that doesn’t blaze bright, but quietly lights a path through the thicket of early adulthood. Here are a few things I wish I’d known in my 20s, organized around finances, relationships, family, and habits.

Finances: the quiet power of small discipline

1) Start saving early, even if it’s tiny. Your 20s are the cheapest time to compound. If you can automate $50 a month or 5% of your income, do it. It won’t feel like much now, but a decade or two later it can feel like a quiet miracle. If your employer offers a 401(k) match or a similar program, contribute enough to get the full match—the “free money” you would otherwise leave on the table is real.

2) Learn the basics of budgeting, then forget the budget you hate. A simple rule of thumb helps: spend on essentials, save a portion, and allocate a little for fun. Track where your money goes for a few months, then set a realistic plan. Your future self will thank you when you’re not surprised by an unexpected bill or a drained emergency fund.

3) Understand debt, especially high-interest debt. Credit cards can be a trap if used unwisely. If you carry a balance, tackle the high-interest portion first. If possible, consolidate or transfer to a lower-interest option. The goal isn’t to live austere forever, but to avoid money fights with your future self.

4) Invest in financial literacy, not get-rich-quick schemes. Read, ask questions, and diversify your knowledge. You don’t need to own a complex portfolio to grow wealth, but you do need to understand risk, time horizons, and fees. Simple index funds and a steady plan often outperform trying to time markets.

5) Spend on experiences that enrich you, not on status symbols. The illusion of “more” often masquerades as better furniture, bigger apartments, or flashier gadgets. Invest in things that add lasting value—a reliable laptop for work, a calm morning routine, a side project that teaches you new skills—rather than keeping up with others’ highlight reels.

Relationships: nurture connection with intention

1) Communication beats chemistry. The people you date in your 20s aren’t just the romance of the moment; they’re practice for the relationships you’ll build later. Learn to listen, to articulate boundaries, and to express needs without blame. Healthy patterns now are easier than unlearning later.

2) Choose compatibility over convenience. It’s tempting to settle for someone who fills a gap—emotional, logistical, or social. If you find yourself consistently adjusting who you are to fit someone else's life, pause. Long-term alignment—shared values, compatible life goals, mutual respect—beats temporary comfort.

3) Invest in friendships as seriously as romantic relationships. Romantic life gets a lot of attention, but friendships provide resilience, perspective, and a different kind of intimacy. Show up, be reliable, and practice honesty. It pays dividends in lonely moments and in celebrations.

4) Boundaries aren’t walls; they’re fences that keep you safe and honest. Saying no when something feels off is an act of care for yourself and for the other person. You don’t owe explanations for every boundary you set; you owe yourself to honor your limits.

5) The ending matters less than the process. Relationships succeed in the long run not because every moment is perfect, but because both people learn to repair. Apology, accountability, and consistent effort to grow together are more valuable than grand gestures.

Family: roots, responsibilities, and rituals

1) Show up more than you think you should. Family doesn’t demand perfection; it rewards presence. Whether it’s a phone call, a weekend visit, or helping out with a meal, consistent effort builds trust and closens bonds that time can stretch but never sever.

2) Learn to manage expectations around caregiving. As parents age, or as siblings face life changes, boundaries around helping each other become crucial. It’s okay to set limits that protect your energy and finances, while still offering meaningful support.

3) Practice gratitude, not obligation. It’s easy to fall into a mindset where family feels like a duty list: holidays, chores, and expectations. Counterbalance that with intentional gratitude: what you appreciate about your family, what you’ve learned from them, and the unique roles each member plays.

4) Preserve family stories. We forget details, but stories shape identity. Record a few memories, ask elders to recount theirs, write down lessons in a notebook, or create a simple family archive. These threads connect generations and offer perspective when life gets noisy.

5) Show up for the difficult conversations. Conflicts with family can linger because they’re wrapped in history. Approach tough talks with empathy, prepare what you want to say, and give the other person space to be heard. Repair is worth it, even when it’s uncomfortable.

Habits: small disciplines that compound into a life

1) Build a morning routine that respects your energy. Your best hours shape your day. If you’re a morning person, use that time for focused work. If you’re a night owl, craft a wind-down routine that supports rest. A predictable rhythm reduces stress and increases momentum.

2) The power of a single consistent habit. Pick one habit you actually enjoy doing daily—hydrating, a short walk, journaling, or a 10-minute learning block. The compound effect of small, repeatable actions is astonishing over weeks, months, and years.

3) Learn to manage attention in a world of distraction. Notifications, endless feeds, and fast-bite content steal quality time from deep work and meaningful relationships. Create boundaries: designated “focus blocks,” device-free meal times, and a curated notification setup.

4) Sleep is the ultimate performance enhancer. It’s not glamorous, but it underpins mood, productivity, and health. Prioritize a regular sleep schedule, a cool dark room, and a wind-down routine that signals your brain it’s time to rest.

5) Health is a long game. Exercise isn’t just about losing weight or building muscle; it’s about resilience, energy, and longevity. Find a physical activity you enjoy and can sustain. Pair it with regular check-ins for nutrition, mental health, and preventive care.

A few personal reminders

Life in your 20s isn’t a deadline; it’s a sandbox. Experiment, fail, learn, and try again. You don’t need to have all the answers; you just need to keep moving forward.

You’re allowed to redefine success. What looked important at 23 might not at 33, and that’s okay. The aim is to live in a way that aligns with your values, not with someone else’s expectations of success.

Money can be a tool, not a rule. Finance should serve your life goals—freedom to travel, time with loved ones, or the space to pursue a passion. Keep the relationship with money healthy by keeping it aligned with your bigger picture.

Self-compassion matters. You’ll make mistakes, miscalculate, and stumble into bad habits. Treat yourself with kindness, learn from missteps, and keep going. The long arc of adulthood is built on steady, compassionate repetition, not on perfect performances.

If you’re in your 20s now, or guiding someone who is, consider this: the most valuable investment you can make is not in a flashy gadget or a trendy course, but in your ability to steward your energy, your time, and your relationships. The small, steady choices—saving a little, communicating clearly, nurturing family, and building habits that support your best self—add up to a life that feels less like a sprint and more like a well-paced marathon.

So here’s to the slow, stubborn, consistent work of growing up. Not everything will go to plan, but with intention, you can lay a foundation that serves you for decades to come. A few things I wish I knew in my 20s, written for the person you are today: start small, stay curious, and be kind to yourself as you learn to navigate the years ahead.

Don’t weaponize humor. The best jokes come from affection, not from scoring points at someone else’s expense. If a joke hurts someone, it’s not funny. If you’re unsure, wait a beat and be kind.

Laughter is a glue for tough situations. When you’re navigating life’s fumbles, a laugh with someone you love can be a reset button that keeps you connected and moving forward.

5) The best legacy is how you show up for others

This is the one dad hopes you carry into every future you build: your character in action. It’s less about grand gestures and more about consistent, quiet reliability—the kind that shows up in a pickle, not just on a sunny day.

What that looks like in real life:

Be the person who follows through. If you promise to help, you show up. If you say you’ll call back, you do. Consistency builds trust in every relationship—romantic, friendship, and family.

Practice empathy, especially when it’s difficult. People aren’t walking around with perfect scripts. If someone’s struggling, a little patience, a listening ear, and a non-judgmental stance can mean more than you’ll ever know.

Give the benefit of the doubt, but protect your boundaries. You don’t have to rescue everyone, but you can offer support and honest feedback when it’s deserved. The most meaningful impact often happens quietly, without fanfare.

A closing note from Dad

If you’re reading this as an adult kid, you’ll recognize that the best parts of dad’s wisdom aren’t about perfection; they’re about presence. He wants you to know that your life—your choices, your mistakes, your wins, and your quirky human moments—matters to him. He’s rooting for you in big, loud, goofy, and deeply sincere ways.

So regardless of where you are in life, here’s the heart of what he hopes you’ll remember:

You’re capable of handling what comes your way.

It’s OK to talk about money, and it’s essential to manage it wisely.

Family is your anchor and your launchpad—treasure both, protect boundaries, and keep showing up.

Humor will get you through tough days—use it kindly and sparingly, but never abandon it.

The kind of person you are when no one is looking is the legacy you leave behind.

If you’re a dad reading this, consider this a reminder that your words, your battles won, and your steady presence are shaping the adults your kids become. If you’re an adult kid reading this, take it with a grain of laughter and a lot of heart. Either way, the truth remains: the best let’s-go-togethers are the ones where love, support, and a touch of humor carry everyone forward. And yes, there will always be room for one more dad joke at the end of the day.