5 Years Later: What I Learned About Being a Single Dad

Five years ago, I found myself staring into the abyss of single fatherhood with equal parts terror and determination. I had no idea what I was doing, but I knew one thing—I had to figure it out fast. Five years later, I can confidently say that I’ve learned a lot. Some of it was inspiring, some of it was disgusting, and some of it was just downright hilarious.

So, for all the single dads out there (and the ones who love them), here’s what I’ve learned along the way.

The Good: The Stuff That Makes It All Worth It

1. You Will Become the Ultimate Problem Solver

There is no problem too big or too ridiculous that a single dad can’t solve. A lost shoe five minutes before school? You become Sherlock Holmes. A broken toy that must be fixed immediately? You become a master engineer with nothing but duct tape and hope. Toddler throws a tantrum in the middle of the grocery store? You channel your inner hostage negotiator.

And the best part? You start applying this skill to everything. Work, relationships, and even your own emotions. You don’t panic anymore—you figure it out.

2. The Bond You Build With Your Kids is Unmatched

I’m not saying single dads have better relationships with their kids than other dads, but…I’m also not saying that. When you’re the one there for all the bedtime stories, the scraped knees, the “Dad, I need help with my homework” moments—you form a bond that’s unshakable.

Your kids don’t just see you as their dad. They see you as their rock, their guide, their safe place. And that? That’s priceless.

3. You Learn to Love the Little Things

Before single dad life, I thought happiness was in the big wins—promotions, vacations, fancy dinners. Now? I know true joy is:

• Finding a rogue chicken nugget before you step on it.

• Hearing your kid tell a joke that makes no sense but is somehow still hilarious.

• Watching them sleep and realizing that, against all odds, you’re keeping them alive and doing a pretty decent job at it.

The Bad: The Stuff No One Warns You About

1. The Loneliness Can Hit Hard

Let’s be real—there are nights where you sit on the couch after the kids go to bed and think, Wow, it’s just me. No one to tag-team bedtime with. No one to vent to when the kids are being wild. No one to laugh with about the sheer absurdity of parenting.

It gets easier, though. You build a support system, find other single parents who get it, and learn to enjoy your own company (which, let’s be honest, is an underrated skill).

2. Dating as a Single Dad is Like a Reality Show (But Not a Fun One)

Dating as a single dad is weird. It’s like The Bachelor, but with less champagne and more discussions about custody schedules. Finding someone who understands that your kids come first can be tough, and explaining why you fell asleep mid-text at 9:30 PM doesn’t always go over well.

But when you do find someone who gets it? It’s worth the awkwardness.

3. The Pressure is Real

You are the guy. The only guy. That means if something goes wrong, it’s on you. Car breaks down? You’re the mechanic. Kid is sick? You’re the nurse. School project due tomorrow that they forgot to tell you about? Time to channel your inner art teacher at 11 PM.

It’s a lot. And some days, you’ll feel like you’re failing. But you’re not. You’re showing up, and that’s what matters most.

The Gross: The Stuff That Requires a Strong Stomach

1. Kids Are Basically Walking Germ Factories

At some point in your single dad journey, you’ll get sneezed on, coughed on, and possibly vomited on—all within the same 24 hours. You’ll learn to recognize the sound of a kid about to throw up from another room. And if you have boys, the bathroom situation will make you consider just installing a drain in the middle of the floor and calling it a day.

2. Mystery Smells Are a Part of Life

There will come a time when you walk into a room and say, What is that smell? And you will never find the answer. It could be an old juice box, a rogue sock, or something your kid found outside and decided to keep as a pet. Some mysteries are best left unsolved.

3. Laundry is a War Zone

Between grass stains, ketchup stains, and the what even is that? stains, you will eventually give up on wearing anything that isn’t stain-resistant. And socks? Don’t even try to keep them in pairs. Just accept that every laundry day, the sock universe resets itself, and you start over.

The Funny: The Stuff That Keeps You Laughing

1. Kids Are Unintentionally Hilarious

The things kids say and do should be recorded and turned into a Netflix special. Some gems from my own experience:

• “Dad, I think you’re kinda smart. Like…medium smart.”

• “Why do grown-ups drink coffee? It smells like a bad idea.”

• “I don’t want to go to bed. I just took a nap! It was three days ago, but still.”

2. You Will Become a Master of Weird Life Hacks

Need to get your kid to eat veggies? Pretend they’re dinosaur food. Need them to clean up? Turn it into a race. Need five minutes of peace? Give them a roll of bubble wrap and tell them it’s an important mission.

3. You’ll Learn to Embrace the Chaos

There was a time when I thought I could keep my house spotless, have perfectly planned meals, and always be on top of things.

Hilarious.

Now? I embrace the chaos. Toys in the living room? That’s called “creative play.” Breakfast for dinner? That’s called “culinary innovation.” Random dance parties? Non-negotiable.

Final Thoughts: It’s Hard, But It’s Worth It

Five years later, I can say with confidence that single dad life is an adventure—messy, unpredictable, exhausting, and absolutely incredible.

You’ll have days where you feel like a superhero and days where you feel like a disaster. But through it all, you’ll realize that you’re doing the most important job in the world.

And honestly? You’re crushing it.

So, to all the single dads out there—keep going. Keep laughing. Keep learning. And remember: if you step on a LEGO in the dark, it’s okay to cry. You’ve earned it.